Sunday, June 14, 2009

Trouble in Bear City?

The calm comes to us this weekend in the form of one thunderstorm after another. Love it. Mr. Husband and I are taking grand advantage of our upper porch as the rain comes in wave after wave after glorious wet wave. Today, Sunday, we are completely rained in. Mr. Husband has stepped into his post-apocalyptical Fallout3 world while I try to appease the cats. The poor cats. The poor angry cats. They are calling for impeachment. They are rallying in the streets and ready to burn us in effigy. You can see it in their little cat eyes. They have been very disappointed in our lack of attention and inability to cater to their every whim. We have been bad parents this week. And we know it. Worse—we’ve been bad members of Cat Government (the ruling political body in Bear City).

How can we redeem ourselves? Will the public ever trust us again?

Our lives are ruled by these two cats: The Senator, Oliver Baggins Pants, and his trusty companion the furry Lobbyist, Bonita Banana. We have had two very busy weeks at work—weeks where we are so engrossed in our jobs, we don’t want to leave. But where does that leave the cat government that is waiting at home for our vote? That leaves a confused cat government that is not able to pass any new bills or bring up any new measures in the House. That leaves the cat government completely defunct and in disarray. What kind of members are we? We’re the kind of members that are about to be voted out of the government.

Today, I took good measures to see that all is calm and docile in Bear City, the Land of Cats. In our lack of recent government involvement, the cats have built a new Hotel on Main Street—they’ve inhabited the new hotel in order to confirm its comfort for other members of Bear City. We were not made aware that the bill had passed to move forward with the construction of this new hotel. There was no memo and no announcement. But it is here and quite visible on Main Street—there is nothing we can do. We will not stoke the fire of cat anger that comes from disrupting any new buildings that come to pass. The new hotel must stay. Some argue that the new hotel was constructed without the vote of all members of the cat government. They say the hotel should be torn down. They say it is an eyesore and ruins the aesthetic of Main Street. I caution those who dare to question the cat government. The hotel stays.

Near the new hotel on Main Street, Cat Trust Suites, the playing field was opened with layer after layer of fine tissue paper—the kind that makes a crinkly noise. New building materials always excite the members of Bear City. The goal in today’s construction project was to create a new park. A park where all members of Bear City can come together in peace to play and enjoy scratchies. I imagine a world where ears, chins, and bellies shall be scratched at all times. Purring is encouraged, and cat teasers
fly through the air in delight. The park is filled with wild, bright colors that slide across the floor in a whirling-magic-cat-fantasy-better-than-tuna. The park is hailed as an immediate and overwhelming success.

We spent the morning digging for treasure like mice, birds, and teasers with feathers in the new playing field. Big shopping bags offered picnic areas for the cats to rest and regroup while on the hunt for such treasures. The Senator graced us with his presence after watching from a distance. It is rumored that he came for the potato salad and stayed for the catnip. He sat up on a big picnic table,
looking like a right regal fat cat. I think I even saw him smile once. He looked on while his subjects romped in the park. All were filled with glee. No one remembered that it was raining.

The humans have been forgiven and restored to their previous place in Cat Government: voting members of the House. While all is calm during the afternoon catnap, I will make myself available again when the members of Cat Government come calling. I will not repeat the mistakes of the past. We are back in line and will properly fill out seats in the House as established in the Rules of Cat Government 3.1.C.A.T. No one need remind us again that a cat coup is around every corner. There can always be much, much more cat hair in our daily food. We know this. We understand.

Bear City for everyone! Bear City for life!

1 comment:

facingthetrend said...

Mister Bingley, Mayoral Candidate for Bear City, does not approve of the Human behavior he has observed in this post. Frankly, he believes your new outlook and attitude are a temporary doorstop against the slow decline of Bear City. Knowing such, Mister Bingley has instituted a new platform of Daily Petting and Chin Scratching, which will be mandatory when he is elected High Overlord of Bear City.